reminiscing 2015 & embracing 2016

Happy New Year!  I know it's said a million times, but this year truly flew by.  It was an interesting year to say the least.  A year of many ups and downs, good times and hard times.  Life definitely represented itself as being "life" this past year.  However, no matter what, life goes on.  One thing is for sure, even if you're encountering a time that makes you feel like it's impossible to get through, if you surround yourself with the right people, you'll always get through it.  Number one in my life is my relationship with the Lord, but without my family and friends, this year would've been ten times worse than it was.  My 2015 in a nutshell story may not be how you want to spend your next five minutes and I'm totally okay with that, but sometimes it's better just to write something down and then move on.  So that's what I'm going to do, say goodbye to 2015 and hello to 2016.

Everyone told me 2015 was my year, it was my high school graduation year, and what 17 year old wouldn't be excited about that?  The entire second semester of senior year, my mind was set on one thing, graduation.  Of course in between all of that was the fun stuff like prom.  However, as I sit here typing, like any other time I think about graduation, I realize that it's all kind of a blur.  I remember the ceremony, but I don't remember the feelings or anything of that sort because I was numb.  The weekend before graduation, we were given the news that my grandmother didn't have long to live.  Anytime you lose a loved one it is an incredibly hard time, but this seemed especially hard because she was one of my two grandparents left, and my grandfather had severe Alzheimer's so in a sense she felt like she was all I had.  Graduation was Thursday and she passed away Tuesday evening.  I remember that day like it was yesterday, but everything else is foggy.  At 17, having already witnessed two deaths can really take a toll on you.  There's nothing that can shake that type of memory, but it's also part of why I chose my major as nursing because I found it so incredible to watch the human body work in its own natural ways.
I missed my last two days of senior year and high school altogether besides maybe a class or two the last day, but I honestly don't remember.  The only thing running through my mind was how did this happen and making sure that my dad was okay.  I lost my other grandmother years ago and so knowing that there will never be another day where you can talk to one of your grandmothers is a really hard pill to swallow.  Grandparents have so much wisdom to share and there's no one else in the world that can compare.  My grandmother was one very special lady and everyone who met her knew that, which is why I felt compelled to share my thoughts about her at her funeral.  I graduated Thursday night, and I spoke at the funeral Friday morning.  I never in my life thought I could get up and speak in front of a large audience, but when you're remembering someone you love, it's like everything else in the world disappears.  Plus, like I mentioned earlier about surrounding yourself with the right people, as I got up to the microphone I looked into the audience and saw one of my best friends sitting in one of the back pews giving me the smile of encouragement that she knew I needed.  With God, family, and good friends, you can get through anything.

Soon after this, I had my college orientation which was when everything settled in that I was weeks away from moving out.  Now that's a scary thought when you're already emotionally vulnerable, but just like anything that's stressful or what seems to be scary at the moment, you just have to take a deep breath and relax.  We definitely did the relaxing part when we took our family trip to Turks & Caicos to just get away from everything we had just been through.  It was exactly what we needed, family time and some beautiful, crystal blue water.

Not too long after the trip, we were taken back into the reality of life again.  My grandfather entered the last phase of Alzheimer's and we were told he had about 10-14 days to live.  Within that time span, me and my best friends had planned to spend a whole day together just doing fun things like taking pictures and going to cool restaurants because we knew that in eleven days I was leaving for college.  That morning, my friends were supposed to meet me at my house.  Interestingly enough, I slept through my alarm and was woken by my mom telling me that one of my friends was already there so naturally I sprang up realizing I had overslept and needed to get ready asap.  Unfortunately, my mom told me to sit back down and she broke the news to me that my grandfather had passed away that morning.  I just sat there numb again.  I had known that at some point it was coming, but I hadn't allowed myself to accept it.  However, once again, with God, family, and good friends, you can get through anything.  And boy did I need my friends that day.

There's no words to explain being 17 and losing your last two grandparents within 10 weeks of each other and attending the last funeral five days before moving away from home for the first time in your life.  Those first couple weeks of college were extremely difficult.  Watching my parents leave me at my dorm was nearly impossible.  I was emotionally vulnerable and I knew they were hiding how much pain they were feeling just to help me out.  When you're that emotionally vulnerable and you're in a new location, you have to make a decision for your life right there because otherwise people can get wrapped up in the wrong actions.  Throughout everything that happened, my faith only deepened, and I knew that nothing within me had changed, I still had no desire to give into things that might make the pain go away.  It's only temporary, and that's how I've always looked at anything like that.  Even taking a Motrin for a headache, it's just masking the pain for a short period of time until it rubs off and you're back to reality.
I wrote about my first semester in a previous post so that pretty much takes over the last few months of 2015.

There's no doubt that relationships in life are a very difficult thing.  I am truly blessed to have had my grandparents as role models for how they lived out their marriage.  I can only only hope that one day I will have a marriage like theirs.  It was love at first sight for my grandfather and he loved her until his very last breath.  Over ten years with Alzheimer's and within ten weeks of my grandmother passing, he left to be with her the week of her 90th birthday.  They couldn't be without each other, and there's nothing more reassuring than knowing that they're together again.  Faith and family was what was important to them and they did an incredible job at living out those two things.

Always treat people with respect because you don't know what they're going through.  Love your family and friends and make sure they know it.  And remember, with God, family and good friends, you can get through anything. :)

Needless to say, I am so ready for this new year.  Here's to the many new memories that are to come!

pumpkin cheesecake dip for the holidays

Yesterday I went to a holiday "Friendsmas" and everyone was asked to bring a food or drink item so naturally I went straight to my Pinterest to find a good recipe.  I came across a Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake Dip and I am happy to say it was a hit.  I didn't have a whole lot of time to make it and it was a quick and easy recipe that anyone can whip up in under ten minutes.  I just used plain graham crackers to dip as well as someone else's ginger snaps that they brought, which was a great combo.  I definitely recommend giving this recipe a try!

Ingredients:
8 oz cream cheese
8 oz cool whip
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 tbsp pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp vanilla extract
graham crackers or ginger snaps

Full recipe here.

beautify

I thought I'd post the products I use on a daily basis as well as the makeup I use.  There's so many beauty products out there that it can be confusing sometimes on what to get.  Plus, beauty is not cheap, so knowing that a product is good in advance is always a bonus before you drop your money on it.  I love all of these products so I definitely recommend them!

I'm convinced I have some of the most sensitive skin and I must have tried a thousand cleansers before I found one that didn't irritate my skin, but prevented breakouts.  I've been using this cleanser for almost a year now and I still couldn't be happier with it.  It's made by the brand Soap & Glory, which is a brand from the U.K. and it is amazing.  It's called the Peaches and Clean 4-in-1 Wash Off Deep Cleansing Milk - it's gentle and it does the trick.  I use Burts Bees facial cleansing wipes before I wash my face to remove any makeup.  After cleansing, I use bareMinerals purely nourishing cream to moisturize.  If I feel a breakout coming, I just started using e.l.f.'s Acne Fighting Gel, and so far, it has proven itself to work.

Onto makeup.

     

Pictured in the top left are two products made by the company pür.  The larger bottle is a setting spray and the smaller bottle is a primer.  The setting spray says to use before applying makeup, but I personally think it works best to use after applying your makeup.  The primer goes on before any makeup and after any moisturizers if you moisturize in the morning.

On the right are two mascaras that I have fallen in love with.  I have tried many different drug store brands and I could never find one that seemed to do the trick.  I was recently given a sample of Urban Decay's Perversion mascara and really liked it so I decided to give in and splurge on a bottle of mascara.  I have really enjoyed using it, but it did seem to get flaky rather quickly.  I had always heard about Too Faced's Better Than Sex mascara and a friend of mine ever so kindly gave me a bottle for Christmas and I can't say I have a single complaint.  For someone who has pretty short lashes, it makes them look longer and it stays all day.  If you're looking for a good mascara to splurge on, I definitely recommend both, but I'd probably have to say go for the Too Faced!

The bottom left are three of the products I use for face makeup.  My friend gave me a MAC foundation which I absolutely love because it's really light.  If it's a super casual day, I sometimes use Maybelline's Dream Liquid Mousse Foundation instead.  The two concealers I use are wet n wild's CoverAll Stick and pür's Disappearing 4-in-1 Concealer and which one I use depends on my breakouts.  On a regular day, I usually just use foundation or the cover stick and foundation, but if I'm breaking out, I'll use the pür concealer.  I also use Neutrogena's mineral sheers loose powder foundation to top it off, along with the setting spray.

The bottom right shows the products I use to get the perfect eye.  I start with cargo's HD Picture Perfect Eye Shadow Primer and then use Urban Decay's Naked 2 and Naked 2 Basics Palette.  For eyeliner, I use Maybelline's master precise ink pen.  I have a scar in my eyebrow from stitches years ago, so for an eyebrow pencil to fill in the scar I use Clinique's Super Fine Liner for Brows.

And there you have it!  All of my favorite products.

life

It's been awhile since I've written a blog post so I've decided to "relaunch" fashion & fitnition.  I just finished my first college semester, so life has been slightly hectic the past five months and I never found myself having much free time.  However, I learned a lot, so I thought I would share.

For starters, your first college semester is a time of new experiences.  You're officially on your own for the first time so you learn a lot about yourself as well as life in general.  For me, I chose a college where I only knew enough people personally to count on my fingers so it was a whole new start.  Between Rush and the first few weeks of classes, I met an overwhelming amount of new people, but I loved it.  As nerve-wracking as it is, everyone is in the same situation and are just trying to meet as many people as possible.

Beyond the people, college is an adjustment.  It's your first time away from home for a long period of time.  I depended on my faith to get me through those first few weeks.  I lost my last two grandparents before I went to college so that was a struggle in itself to leave my family as we were still in a period of grieving.  I don't think I would have been able to get through Rush and the stress of starting college without my faith.  My guardian angels were definitely watching over me as God blessed me with some incredible friends within the first month of school.

College is an incredible place to meet some awesome people that you quickly realize will be lifelong friends.  Every experience you're presented with, take the opportunity because it creates some unbelievable memories.  I understand that Greek life isn't for everyone, but if you're at the age where you're about to go to college and you're trying to make the decision of whether or not to go through Rush, I definitely recommend it.  It's a tiring experience, but you meet a ton of girls that are in your college class and it gives you a week to adjust to being on campus before starting classes.  Plus, being in a sorority is something that you really can't describe until you're in one, but you're placed in a family of a couple hundred girls who are immediately called your sisters.  As a new freshman where you feel so small on a college campus, that's a pretty comforting feeling.  And over the months of your first semester, those sisters become some of your closest friends.

And beyond the adjustment, college is hard.  Classes are hard.  It's not really something that anything can prepare you for and it's definitely a learning experience.  It takes awhile to determine what study methods work best for you, how much time you need to designate to each class and assignment, and when to say no to the social life so you can study, study, and study some more.  This is all a part of your first semester - figuring out what works best for you, and what doesn't, like how your body can't run off of caffeine without sleep.  You'll learn that one the hard way, trust me.  I can't deny that I pulled some all nighters, but they're really not the best method if you can avoid it.

College is definitely a whole new world as cliché as it sounds, but it's amazing.  I wouldn't trade any of my experiences for the world, and just after being home for a week for Christmas break, I already find myself missing my college campus and the people.  As far as classes, it's a stressful time, but the experiences make up for it and definitely prove why people tell you that college is the best four years of your life.